I grew tired of watching “Top Ten” shows on the military channel that didnt meet my muster so I decided to choose my own favorite tanks.
Today’s tank is “My favorite German Tank” and I choose the Panzer III, the back bone of the Afrika Korps and the early blitz. The one pictured has the short 75mm but I am a fan of the Ausf J (Special) with the long barreled 5cm gun. you can have your Panthers and Tigers...I'll stick with the ol Panzer III.
The news reported today that shooting began on Peter Jackson’s film version of “the Hobbit”. For some readers that shall be joyous news, to others it will be the chiming of the bells of dread.
First, logically, “The Hobbit” was one book, “The Lord of the Rings” were in fact three books “Fellowship of the rings”, “The Two Towers” and the “Return of the king”. LOTR was made into three films.. makes sense... however “The Hobbit” will be made into two films... go figure.
I love the Hobbit, I read it more then any of the other books, I read it to my son, it was my introduction to the Fantasy genre and I still will re read it to this day. In defense of Jackson... I love his choice to play Bilbo Baggins, he is filming once more in New Zealand and Ian Mckellan reprises his role as Gandalf... Thats good. However Jackson also has some of the cast of LOTR showing up playing Characters that did not really appear in the Hobbit... so that concerns me.
“The Hobbit” was really a book for younger audiences and I hope that Jackson can bring its charm to the screen and make it friendly for younger viewers. I imagine some people may think the gathering of the party at Bag’s End a little silly but I do love it ( I know what Bilbo Baggins Hates). The escape from the wood elves, The shapeshifter may seem some what over the top when on the screen.
I hope that Jackson can capture the splendor of Smaug’s Lair and the Terrifying menace and pomposity of the dragon that exists in my brain, I do think those scenes can be some truly great visuals as Smaug attacks Laketown ( go Bard and his black arrow!!!). There are so many things I want to see...yet fear seeing how someone else visualizes them... Beorn, The riddling contest, The Trolls, the Keyhole and the death of Thorin... but I have the fear derived from the earlier films that could make a fan break into a cold sweat.
I wasnt a fan of the way Gimli looked in LOTR, so I do have some fears of how the Dwarfs will appear (will I be able to identify them by the color of their hoods?).
I will see this film, and I will pray it doesn't “Phantom Menace” my love for the book. I cant wait to see some stills from the production, but I will have a glowing ember of dread in my belly as I pray that they don’t mishandle something so beloved to so many.
A month ago, whilst sequestered in the Edward’s Think tank, we stumbled upon the topic of Magic and how it is depicted in Novels and games. Since one was spawned by the other it was strange to note how different the two are.
In Novels and even movies, magic weapons are things of legend. In the Lord of the rings trilogy you have Glamdring, Orcist, Sting and Narsil, weapons who’s names are known throughout the land ( Though how three of them ended up in the same troll lair is beyond me) they are feared and respected... In Games... not so much. A magic weapon is merely one of a zillion that seem to lay under every nock and cranny through out the world, collecting dust on shelves in weapons shops.
A Magic weapon in literature is like the signature of the hero, when he draws it, the reader says to himself “Okay... The can has been opened mr Bad Guy”. How would it have been if Drizzt had tossed Icingdeath and the twinkle sword to the curb because Schmuckbanger offered +1 more endurance?
In games (specially the electronic medium), the fact that a weapon is “magical” means nothing... Its how magical or worse yet... how rare it is. Its like saying “Yes I have Magical swords holding up my book shelves... but that one over there, they only made 5 or 6 of those”. In most games you discard your sword nearly every other quest or mission as you are handed a slightly better one as a reward. Magic is so prevalent that the guy standing along the road is going to give you a magic sword just for killing a few pigs.
I understand why the magic factories of the great MMORPG worlds worked overtime to produce a glut of Magical Armor’s, Weapons, Staves, Robes, Totems, Necklaces, Ring’s and such... But I would prefer magic items to be “rare” or wondrous. When you pull that sword that you recovered from the tomb of _______ , your foes take a step back and say “Holy Crap!! That is the sword of _______” as fear grips their very guts.I know that people generally love their games the way they are and that a game that makes Magic Weapons rare is probably not going to have a issue with having enough servers...but in my imaginary world... things will be different.
I am a Reenactor... and have been for over 20 years, as such you would think that I would have a collection of war films that I re- watch over and over... and I do, but what is surprising is how many of those film’s I do not like. Many films do have a scene or two that I enjoy re watching but those scenes seldom save the film in its whole.
“Saving Private Ryan” for instance, I do like the Omaha Beach scene at the beginning of the film, but don’t much care for the rest. “Band of Brothers”, the HBO mini serries that birthed a million Airborne reenactors has a scene or two I like... but as a whole ... not on my Favorites list.
Then there are the Civil War films like “Glory” and “Gettysburg”... Now I worked on both these films... They drive me nuts!! Don’t even get me started on “Gods and Generals”. I think the only real Civil War films that I have actually enjoyed have been some independent films that have steered well clear of the fake beard brigade and Fat Reenactors ( Note....I am a Fat reenactor and as a reenactor co-ordinator for England's National Armory, I didn't even allow myself in the film).
I am a fan of the Colonial period... but the films made like “Revolution” and “Patriot” make me want to restore British rule to this land. I do not like “Last of the Mohicans”, I love Daniel Day Lewis’s performance ( and his rifle... I would kill for) but the movie just makes me ill. The only “Colonial” combat scene I really enjoy is the 7 years war battles from “Barry Lyndon”.
As for Vietnam films... there are scenes I can watch from most, I have certainly watched them enough ( beggars can't be choosers) but there is only one that I would recommend or admitt to as being on “my list” and that is “Hamburger Hill”.
I do not know why I am so damn picky, I do consider some to be on my like list, “Paths of Glory”, “La 317eme section”, “Battleground” and “Downfall” to name a few, but not as many as one would think. Some “Pulp WWII” and Adventure films, like “Where Eagles Dare”, “The four Feathers” and “The Eagle has landed” do make it into my DVD player before some of the more... so called... popular films.
Maybe its that films that claim to be “Based on actual events” then proceed to weave some bizarre farcical tale drive me to distraction. History is dramatic... just the way it unfolds... it doesn't need a Love interest or a contrived over the top action scene to make it watchable, and films that change the personalities of those they portray to appease our concepts of what a hero is make me want to sniff glue.
I know “ F**k You Kendall”... I’ll take that, this is just my opinion and you are allowed your own. I just find it weird, I’ll buy these films, watch some scenes then turn them off, you would think for a guy with a basement full of uniforms and a office full of books I would be less picky about my films... but I am
Compuserve, Prodigy and AOL, precursors to what you kid’s now call “The Internets”. There was a day... so long ago that it is now a time of legends, where Dragon’s prowled looking for Marathon bars and soda came in tin cans and glass bottles... that one made a choice for your “online entertainment” and it weren’t free.
Some of us will remember “BBS’s”, Bulletin board systems.... these were simple systems that you dialed into ( yes I said dialed into) and were able to read some mail lists. People would never believe that people would run “Role Playing Games” and even Strategy games via this archaic method but believe me they did. You did not have the ability to send email everywhere in the world.... you were restricted to “subscribers” to the service.
( I wonder what teenagers would think if they were shown how we used to have to call a phone number, listen for a carrier signal that slam the handset down onto a Modem)
There were the systems run by Universities, I remember the Delta System, that i was introduced to in our schools career center on a 300 baud Dec writer and the PLATO system at the university. PLATO was a joy for me, on Friday’s they would have UDgaming where you could (with permission) play a wide range of games ( Moria and Battlestar were my favorite) on the amber screens of the PLATO terminals.
Then came the new wave of Subscription services...the AOL’s, the Prodigy’s and others that were a glimpse of what was to come. I still remember playing “Neverwinter Nights” on AOL... No Not that one, a much older version, Compuserve had a Squad Leader game that I never got to work on any computer i used. Now these services weren't free, you paid per hour and there were usually “peak usage” time “non peak” price scales that could add up in the olde days.
One of the services I belonged to was “Sierra Online” ( which would become the Imagination Network), this was a gamesentric system that enabled you to play Red Baron and other games against other players online and I spent many a hour playing there Fantasy game. Of course, the Bulletin boards were still big draws and again they did not extend beyond the boarders of the system... but it was cool, the way I imagine old maid was cool when it first came out.
I wonder if kids in the USA are even able to grasp the concept of a world before the world wide web. I can still remember the days the services began to disappear, some tried to hang on ( AOL still exists) and we took our first steps into a world joined electronically.
Bavarian Gott im Himmels
Your friends are gathered around the harth sipping your favorite Detroit wine and discussing the latest episode of Jersey Shore and drawing similes to the great teachings of Socrates and Aristotle. All is right in the world as the cries of the beleagured city are barely audable over the drunken hum of conversation and the electronic symphony that is your Atari combat game playing on your old zenith. You don’t want to ruine the moment with the wrong finger feast... so you make up a tray of the Clockwinders Patent pending “Bavarian Gott Im Himmels”.
What you will need....
Bag of Mini Pretzels
1 Can of Kraft Easy Cheese
1 bottle of Tobasco
First, spread a single layer of mini Pretzels over your best snack tray, make sure there is a certain uniformity... we all know presentation is half the battle.
Then open your can of “Kraft Easy Cheese” and spread a generous portion onto each Pretzel. Don’t worry, the wonder of Eay Cheese will not fall through the gaps so your carpet remnant that covers the old blood stain will be safe from spills.
Now its time to put the Zip into your BGIH’s... Open your precious bottle of tabasco and place one drop of the blessed red ambrosia on to each cheese lump.
Now serve... are let your heart swell to the joyous laughter and compliments that float freely through your abode.
There are many variations on the BGIH’s, using Crackers, melba toast and even shrimp...however be warned that fruit Gott In Himmels generally don’t go over very well.
This has been the first installment of the Clockwinder’s Kitchen... good bye and remember... Warm Bellies mean happy hearts.
Why are we still dedicating hours of Television and countless bytes of digital information to the riveting story of Charlie Sheen? Why must I be bombarded constantly by the celebrity cult in all its hellish glory?
This planet is not with out its own actual drama, Lets not forget that we still have 100’s of thousands of troops overseas fighting a war (and what ever you choose to call Iraq at the moment), American’s in harms way and how about the revolts in the middle east, Libya is practically in the midst of a civil war but No... Please tell me about Charlie Sheen and what ever non-sense he is ranting about today... Really? front page stuff? Seriously?
I love the products of the entertainment industry... but if you were to ask... and for the record you have not... wither I want you (the press) hunting these people down and photographing them, getting out of cars, visiting the beach, eating a hot dog or walking their dog, I would tell you “No Thanks”. Though I am envious of the life styles some of these people lead, I don’t need to invade them... I dont want the fact that they went out drinking or that they havent the common sense the good lord gave them pushing real news of the front page.
Stand clear of the grates.... The Clockwinder is venting.
A Friend sent me a link to a Article that states a company is trying to by the rights to Bladerunner so they can start a new Bladerunner Franchise... I say Go for it.
Its no secret that I love the Original (and that I 100% believe the only way the film works is if Deckard is a human) and if they put have the work the Scott did into bringing his vision of a Dark Future to the screen, it will definitely make lots of Clockwinder dollars.
However... If this is someones way of cheaply milking some cash cow... be warned, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth.
There is one fact about the clockwinder that often surprises people... no, I’m not talking about my total control over time and space... I am referring to the fact that I do not partake of Alcoholic beverages. I believe I have tasted beer and wine at some point in my life but I have never touched the stuff besides that.
My abstinence is not because of some deeply rooted religious belief, it isnt because of “that time in Vegas” or that I “have a problem”... its simply because I don’t like the smell or taste of the stuff. My father was not some alcoholic monster who beat sobriety into me nor was my twin killed by a drunk driver... it is as simple as that... I don’t like the stuff.
I have known friends for over 20 years that still offer me a beer or snort from a flask and still raise a eyebrow when I politely refuse. I have wondered what people think as I sometimes catch a odd look from a person or two. Truthfully though I generally don’t care what they think in regards to my drinking as I don’t think I am “inhibited” socially by it.
My GI classification is of course L7, but I have never minded people drinking around me. I am happy to say that all of my friends are very good drunks, they laugh they delve into deep, alcohol clouded conversations about unsolvable mysteries of life ( I remember many such talks in Ofriel’s while listening to Irish music) and have a great time. I hate people who are bad drunks, that get into fights or become pains in the arse but that is because they become “My problem” then.
At reenactments, when night falls, the people leave, my friends can consume great amounts of spirits and the camp is alive with laughter and conversation. I do remember a few times a drunken person ( never one of my friends) has become my problem... I do remember Grabbing a guy before he feel backwards down the barracks stairs at FIG or having to clean up after a “accident” ... but my friends are great.
My friends at home are much the same way... I have seen how guys become concerned because there friend has been drinking and may start a fight or hurt himself... but that has never been my friends.
As a teenager and young adult, as people around me consumed great sea’s of amber liquids, I was reminded at a recent get together, I used to have a cooler with a 6-pack of Hawaiian punch ( a drink I still like today) at my side. I do not look down my noise at people who drink... I am not offended, I sometimes become concerned when people get to drunk but I do not pass judgement on people because they choose to have a beer or 12.
I sometimes wonder about drinks and drinking, like Absinthe or the issue and drinking of rum in the British Army ( a tradition that lasted into the 20th century) or I have wanted to be cool and order some hype drink at a bar... one with some sort of fruit impaled with a plastic sword... but thats been about it. I often smell what is being drunk.... and find it repulsive but I guess “different strokes”.
Many a person has noted “if your this way sober... I hate to see ya when your drunk”, I have wondered what I would be like under the influence as well... but that will remain a mystery. After 45 years of life, I don’t think I am going to begin a new habit. If your a friend, don’t be concerned, have a good time and bottoms up... responsibly.
I just finished watching the movie “Downfall” for the second time. A powerful movie that trys to show the audience what the last moments of theThird Reich were like. I can not recommend this movie enough ...but be warned, it is not a happy movie.
What makes this movie so powerful to me are two books that I have read several times, “Soldering” by Siegfried Knappe and “The Last Battle” by Cornelius Ryan.
Siegfried Knappe’s book is a biography of his war years, very interesting, as he seems to attract shrapnel everywhere he went ( I think he was wounded three times). How the book intertwines with the movie is... Knappe was General Weidling’s ( Who Command the defense of Berlin) Chief of staff. That portion of the book is amazing, describing how Knappe and Weidling would have to run through the rubble of Berlin to attend meetings with Hitler and above all illustrated the almost Palpable curtain that existed between the realty of the Battle in the streets and the Illusionary world of the Bunker. Knappe was captured by the Russians and held for some years before he moved to the Untied States.
“The Last Battle” By Ryan, one of my Favorite authors, a man that in my opinion wrote three of
the best and easiest to read books on WWII ( “The Longest Day” and “A Bridge To Far” were the other two) is a amazing work, not only covering the Battle of Berlin itself but the run up , The decision of Eisenhower not to go after Berlin because it had no Military importance and Stalin’s game of assigning not one, but two commanders to attack Berlin and pitting them against each other. The sheer weight of
the soviet forces, the numbers and equipment, astounds you as you read about Division’s of artillery hammering German lines. The price the soviets are willing to pay to take the city amazes you as they take their vengeance on Germany. Ryan’s books are’nt thin, but they are so captivating that they seem shorter then they are.
Still watching Downfall, all the madness of the bunker (Weidling himself was ordered to be shot at one point), The one moment that always gets me is the death of the Goebbels Children... I pray for someone to prevent it each time I see it... how could they.
If your a history nerd, and haven't seen “Downfall”, do so, its has high production value and magnificent performances that, even though it is in german, have you sitting on the edge of your seat.
For some reason I was thinking about the movie “The Keep”. It was a 1983 horror flick with Scott Glenn, Jurgen Prochnow, Ian mckellan and Gabriel Byrne that was directed by Michael Mann. The story is basically, a group of german soldiers gets sent to defend a small pass, there is old keep that seems to be constructed inside out. Well as things go, soldiers start die, a special ( read: ultracruel) SS unit is sent in to straighten things out. Come to find out there is some sort of ancient demon imprisoned in the keep and he is freed by a Jewish Dr. who is tricked by the creature. Enter Scott Glenn, some sort of guardian Angel who apparently crosses the world and a eye for da ladies, to keep the baddy in his place.
I didn't see this in the theaters and I think a friend recommended it to me. I loved the beginning, but thought it lost some steam in the middle. I have watched this movie about a dozen times which is strange because I wouldn't list it as one of my favorites, but it does have some eye catching visuals. I wasn't a fan of the somewhat modern sound track for the movie which I believe may have been composed by Tangerine Dream.
I looked for this film “on demand” and was surprised they didnt have it, I used to watch this on VHS (ask your parents) and I am not sure if it is out on DVD but I would suggest that if you like more “off the wall” stuff, not the norm, you may want to try to find it.
I was trying to think of a name for a Super Hero, one that hasnt been used. You may think that its a easy thing... but with over 70 years of pop culture the well has been getting a bit low.
Back in our “Champions” days I had Kid Rocket and Ambush... and I wouldn't be surprised if they had both been used by now. I remember Manta Man, Cerberus, Shadow Warrior (who was a Ninja...go figure) and Chiron ( Also Tron and Bladerunner... but those were the least original and I was responsible for one) from our old game. We would spend hours trying to think of names.
I was thinking “The Rebel”, yes I know it carries a certain Redneck quality but it also means someone who stands apart from the crowd who won’t just bow his head and go with the herd. I’m not sure if the name has been used but a a quick google didnt show anything.
The Rebel would be a man with no memory, he would now how to do things but have no memory of ever learning them... He is not a Amnesiac per say... but everything prior to him waking up in a Lab simply does not exist in his brain.
His powers would be the result of Genetic Manipulation and not “Mutant”, the result of a experiment. All other test subjects were either A. horribly disfigured or B. driven stark raving bonkers by the process. The Rebel is the soul survivor ( out of 237), who was ordered “Disposed of” but was saved by a Dr. who recognized a difference in his readouts. for 10 years, the tube containing The Rebel sat humming away on a island off the coast of New York while what or who ever he was before, transformed into The Rebel.
or something like that...
I wish we still played champions every now and then, I miss the banter between the “Blast Them” Heroes and the “ We have to take them in alive” Heroes. Those were fun times, fueled by Frito’s and Jalopano cheese dip. My god did we use to roll some dice in that game.
* Keep your fences horse-high, pig-tight & bull-strong. * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. * You cannot unsay a cruel word. * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. * Sometimes you get, & sometimes you get got. * Good judgment comes from experience, & a lot of that comes from bad judgment. |
I believe the first MMORPG I ever played was “Star Wars Galaxies”, I was there on day one. I have played allot since, EQII, WOW,LOTROL,DDO and a few others I tried a free play of and didn't like. There are things I liked about each and I wish I could take those things and ball them up into a Uber game... Bur alas I can’t.
With “Galaxies” I would bring the Crafting and the Player housing. It was cool to be able to drop and furnish a house on some secluded mountain top that you could retreat to and drop your stuff. As for the crafting, in “Galaxies” player crafting was everything, any cool item was produced by a player and sold on his vender or one of the vender terminals on one of the many planets, Health stims, uber weapons and super cool clothes all made by player craftsmen from.
From DDO, I would definitely bring the Character playability, and Dungeon experience, To me it is one of the best Dungeoning games out there... it was everything else it missed the boat on. Thieves could disarm traps, pick locks and stealth ahead while wizards dropped walls of fire in door ways to prevent enemies from coming through and warriors... well... did the whole war thing. In the dungeons, you solved puzzles, climbed walls of pipes and located secret doors... everything a dungeon should be.
WOW and EQII have something I strongly believe in for a MMORPG, A whole world concept. You could ride from one end of the continent to the other, unlike DDO or some other games. I love a sense of world exploration, climbing mountains and finding hidden stuff that designers have gone out of their way to spice up the “world”.
One of my pet peeves are games that don’t have a mechanic for opening a Gord Dram Door!! In my opinion, if there is a building, the door should be able to be opened and I should be able to go inside... even if the toon there in only says “get out!” or “Please don’t kill me!” I should be able to do that. The idea of a huge city, that consists of hundreds of buildings I cant interact with is a waist.
We recently took part in Two Beta’s for the new game “Rift”, there is allot I like about the game but some things I don’t. On a Clockwinder scale of 0 to 5, I give it a 3.5. The whole concept of the Rifts, that open up and spew out enemies is actually cool as you fight them and receive special awards but It does suffer from the “cant go in there” thing, as there are countless doors that can not be opened.
We decided to try a Dungeon, just to experience one. There were 3 players, we were significantly higher level as dungeons are meant to be handled by large groups. We went into a Fae Dungeon and I was a little disappointed as it seemed that the only thing we were doing was walking through a shrubbery maze hacking down enemies. No secret doors, no traps nothing to really challenge anything but your ability to click a button on your mouse... until
The saving grace for this dungeon was the final section... the “Winter” area on top of the mountain. Seldom have I come across so neat a scene in a game. as you ascended snow started blowing across the path then you entered a blinding blizzard... the further away a party member went the more obscured he became. The last shrine to be cleansed was a huge giants sword thrust into a rock outcropping... very dramatic. This whole last part saved the Dungeon for me.
Rifts also has some hidden away gems, like the Burial mound located at the top of a secluded mountain... that actually had a amazing weapon in it. It has a continuity of world that I enjoyed and some neat creatures to fight (Rift born and wondering).
Rift allows you to play Guardians or Defiant, We played Guardians in Beta so when we switch to Defiant for “Go Live” the game still holds some surprises for us. It allows a moderate amount of Character modification and each side gets to chose from 3 “normalish” looking races. The real Gem is the Character system, you chose from Warior, Mage, Rouge and Cleric, but within each of those you get a number of “souls that enables you to modify your character countless ways, for instance I was a Rouge... within rouge I had Marksman, Ranger and Saboteur. Each level you receive a certain number of points that can go into each “Soul” to unlock new skills and abilities... It works well.
I look forward to go live for RIFT... it should be a fun game, I worry that Rift fighting will get old fast but so far it has only increased game play. I have been underwhelmed by the cities so far but I haven't seen them all yet. It was perhaps technically the smoothest beta I have ever seen, yes the servers would be brought down now and then but Loading the launcher and playing the game required no tweeking and the game ran well on my box that hasn't been upgraded in awhile. There was not much lagging in the Huge battles with what seemed like hundreds of players fighting 25 or so invading monsters, yes spell effects were lost and some other eye candy but all ran really well.
The Clockwinder recommends “Rift” but is still hoping for the perfect game.
At a get together with fellow chaps who share my Nerdly leanings, amongst other topics, We happened upon the subject of Equipment and how encumbering it would be to a Adventurer. This got me thinking about Movies, TV Shows and Books and how heroes port their goods... and soon the fury was ragging!
BECAUSE THEY DON’T!!!! Sure you may see a pathetic excuse for a backpack, or a quiver with maybe 5 arrows ( Which pisses me off because in the next scene the hero fires like 100 arrows) but you’ll never see them humping some huge pack up to the wizards tower or even so much as put a box or two of shells in their pocket.
Why? They have the miracle of Plotronic intervention, “Hey its dark in here, thank god there is this old bone, a length of cloth and petrol bubbling from the ground so I can make torches”, everything goes their way, they are heroes. Authors and Directors don’t want to bog us down in the minutia of real world logistics. Nothing pisses me off more then to see a guy running around Blasting away with a tommy gun and he isnt even carrying pouches for Magazines so we can kid ourselves that he has reloaded at some point.
Food and Water, Heroes in Movies and books just leap out a window and go running off on quests and adventurers without so much as a thought to consumables. Animals just drop dead at their feet, or better yet, in some form a bizarre naturalistic ritual suicide, they pluck their feathers, impale them self on a spit and cut their heads off.... all because the hero is so damn good. Having had to carry food and water in packs... Its a Bitch.
I guess Games go the exact opposite direction, for some reason, when you play a hero in a MMORPG or RPG you now have to worry about every fricking contingency. You should not be alarmed though, because your hero not only carries A backpack, he can carry 5, full of suits of armor, dozens of weapons, countless glass viles of potions, tons of loot and a amazing array of treasure... without even making the pack straps strain nor explaining just how someone carries 5 backpacks.
One thing that decades of Fake war have taught me, I don't want to be carrying one rifle let alone 5 or 6 and the accompanying ammo. Yet in any game you can have dozens of weapons secured to your body to use at anytime, or worse, a plasma cannon shoved into your trouser pocket (after all, a siege tower takes up as much backpack space as a squirrels tooth.
I realize that in one instance, that of Movies and TV... it is for entertainment value, The script writer will just conjure something if it is important. I am sure in books some authors, afforded the luxury of space and time may describe or explain the heroes burden and I am sure in gaming, its money value, people are going to pay to play games that allow them to Uber themselves out, to switch from their leather jacket to Mk VII power armor ( held in their belt pouch) in 0.2 seconds instead of one that says “ Well thats the weapon you have on your belt... good luck friend”.
Two extremes, the north and south of it all, I wonder if real life is the happy median.
Since the first time I saw Episode IV in 1977 I have been a colossal Star Wars Fan. As I have stated before... If there were ever any prequels made... which there were’nt... I would not be a fan. ANH, ESB and ROTJ hold a place in my heart and a permanent hunk of my imagination. Since that day over 30 years ago, I have also been a fan of what I consider to be the #1 best conceived and visualized bad guy foot soldier in all of SciFidom.... The Stormtrooper.
The Zenith, to me, for those white armored servants of the empire, was Star Wars ( or as it is known now to the kids... Star Wars: A New Hope). I could tell the gentle reader about the subtle changes in the armor making process over the movies and that in Star Wars the armor actually had more pieces then the other movies those making it appear more articulate... but I shall refrain. To the Clockwinder it just appeared that the stormtrooper was more real then in the other films of the series.
From that first shoot out at the beginning of the film to the explosion of the Deathstar I buy the fact that these guys are the empires badasses. The Stormtroopers on Tatooine ( Sandtrooper was actually a latter term, the original script and novelization by Lucas referred to them as Stormtroopers) were a incredible work of the costuming art, the dirt and grime, the rank paldrons and backpacks made them so believable. The use of old equipment such as German SMG Magazine pouches and the imaginative use of real world weapons and items, for example those Rank Paldrons were actually Motocross Chest Protectors, gave them a unsurpassed Realism. I will still watch those scenes over and over again, “Look Sir Droids”, “How long have you had these Droids” and “Stop that Ship” are like alert words for me to stop what Im doing and look up at the TV.
To me, the Tatooine Stormtroopers show us what these baddies look like on campaign, covered with dirt, burdened with equipment. They are “Salty”, they are hardened veterans who can spot replacements by the shine of there clean armor.... but thats me :o).
In ANH, the weapons of the Stormtroopers were actual dressed up Sterling l2a3 SMG’s with some of the other heavier weapons being played by MG34’s, MG15’s and Lewis Guns that gave them a real non-plastic look and feel. The Sterlings actually fired blanks and in some scenes you can see the spent casings ejecting from some weapons. This gave them a kick and flash that was a hallmark of ANH and ESB ( After ESB they decided to go to Replica Sterlings and resin casts).
I know its a Fanboy nerdling thing, but it always amazes me how we have lost the ability to replicate the realism of the 1977 film. When I watch the Special edition and I see the added Stormtroopers in the “Look Sir, Droids” scene... I am Appalled by the lack of Artistry. They look like some one took a pant brush and just splotched on some brown paint, their backpacks look like they were made by Kenner and their paldrons out of felt... its like the difference between night and day. It is strange that perhaps the best trooper costuming since ESB has been accomplished by fans and maybe that says a little about the difference between Love and a Job.
In ESB we were introduced to Snowtroopers and it wasnt until Bespin that the ol Stormies showed up in any numbers. In ROTJ with the time and cost saving measures the Stormtrooper didnt seem as “Real” as he had in the past and the sillines of the great Ewok war only compounded the downward slide... but they were still there and still cool, not some CGI generated Piece of bantha crap like Clonetroopers that in 2 movies and numerous cartoons, have never been a 16th as cool as the Stormtrooper.
Here I sit, 45 years old, writing a blog post about fictitious bad guys from a movie over 30 years ago. Yes, I will place my “Loser” crown on my troubled brow and wear it proudly, because even after 3 decades I still enjoy watching those movies and I still think that the Imperial Stormtrooper was the best conceived and executed Baddy in all of Scifi and Fantasydom.
In the last post I talked about the movie “The Fifth Element”, in one of the responses, Aravan, mentioned the movie “Big Trouble in Little China”.... to me both movies share some of the same qualities and then some. BTLC is another movie that its hard to find haters of and a gem that the Clockwinder will watch time and time again.
Made in 1986 and starring Kurt Russell as the hero Jack Burton, the movie is a zany mix of Kung-fu, action and super-natural thriller that is sprinkled generously with clever comedy that works on a incredible level.
One of the things I love is the fact that the hero often thinks he is more of a hero then he actually is... He isnt the best fighter, he isnt the cleverest but he sure as hell has cornered the market on Heroic Attitude. From the movies opening lines to the credits he delivers cock sure quips and monologs even though he is usually wrong and often is bested.... But you love him. He has a hero’s heart... even though sometimes other attributes may be found lacking.
The Story centers around David Lo Pan ( who is actually a ancient cursed 2000 year old chinese mystic) and his search for a Green eyed girl to lift his curse. Toss into this The street gangs the evil Wing Kong and the Chang Sing along with the “Three Stoms” your in for a treat.
Its the dialog that is the real gem in this movie, at times it seems that every line russell delivers will be quoted by geekdom for eternity. One of his lines is “ Everybody relax, I’m Here” is a example of the unwarranted cocksurness that is Jack Burton. I have to say, the master piece of dialog in this movie is when Jack comes face to face with Lo Pan and cliche villain monologging meets Jack Burton’s not so inner voice, where he calls the villian “Dave” and asked him “Are you Crazy... Is that your problem?”.
This movie is Kurt Russell, one of his greatest performances and I like him as a actor. If you have never seen this movie... Stop everything... Stop Breathing until you see this this film. You will find your self quoting Jack Burton for months and remember one thing....” The check is in the mail”.
Seldom in life is there something that nearly everyone agree’s on... one of the exceptions seems to be the Luc Beeson’s “The Fifth Element”. In looking over my friends favorite movies list and in talking with them, I was shocked by how many of them listed the movie as one of there favorites.
I loved the movie ( and I am obviously not the only one), though I sometimes find my self at a loss to explain why, its special effects werent eye popping and some of the casting was... well... odd ( the federation president.), but I do love this film.
The film stars Bruce Willis as a ex-special forces cab driver and Milla Jovovich as the universes supreme being... the fifth element. <--- you see, just writing that sentence you sit there and say “w..t ... Cap F” but for some reason it works. Chris Tucker as the inexplicable Ruby Rod... might even have been this movies Jar-Jar binks but for some reason his character works.
The movie is not Shakespeare... its not the art in its highest form, it is however a amazing example of what hollywood sometimes forgets.... A fun movie. From start to finish my mind was never caught up in trying to figure out sublime plots or Machiavellian manipulations... the movie practically spells out everything you need to know in the first 20 minutes and Just takes you on a fun ride from there.
If I were to explain some of the scenes here... in black and white, you would probably think I was kidding, for instance, the head general of the federation shows up at the heroes apartment, which is the size of a closet, to recruit him for a super vital mission, in the middle of the meeting, the super-hawt Milla shows up at his door so he hides the military people in his refrigerator... But some how, it works.
I guess it helps that Milla Jovovich is so easy on the eyes, and she actually manages to bring something to her character, a certain naive frailty balanced with super badass. I still quote her “Lilo Dallas... Multipass” line whenever I have to produce my Driver license.
The film is full of scenes that I love, one of them is the performance of the Diva Piavalaguna, for some reason I find that alien singing on stage 100% more believable then any of Lucas’s CGI mess at Jabba’s Palace. I also love the scenes with Ian Holm as Father Vito Cornielus, its all just flat out fun.
Then there is Corbin Dallas... who hasn’t wanted to be the cocksure wise crackin hero and nobody plays it better then Bruce Willis. His negotiations with the Mangalores aboard the “Cruise Ship”... who hasnt wanted to be that cool.... and get the super hawt girl to boot.
Allot of the production, sets and costumes, struck me as very Heavy Metalish(the magazine not the movie) and I understand Moebius and several other artist help with the design work.
In writing this, I sit her and wonder why? Its one of those movies that if Im channel surfing and stumble on it, I have to watch... Why? I think the answer FOR ME is, that it IS a great, fun movie
I was trying to figure out why I have never gotten into the whole Vampire craze. From the White Wolf game to the insanely popular novels I have always been sort of “Meh” over these lusty walking dead ticks.
I did love the first two “Underworld” movies and I will point out that Kate Beckensale as Selene is welcome in my escape pod any day, but I have never been flat out crazy about most anything else that relates to them.
I did watch that show on HBO “True Blood” and did find it entertaining but still it would be something I would miss if anything else was on. God did I hate Twilight with its disco ball Vamps and “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” by Coppola sucked.
Here is the thing, I actually liked Bram Stoker’s Book, I read it on a whim back in my Arcade days and thought it was great. Dracula in the book, was almost a background character, and the chase and fight at the end was a thrill. So why do I hate all other Vampire fiction? I hardly a purest, I don’t belong to the Stokerites or the like... why?
The best I can figure out is that, to me, Vampires equate to evil, Tales of victorious vampire hunters may appeal to me more then the angst ridden blood suckers whining about how horrible their lives are or how sad it is they can’t love a mortal blah blah blah ( sit out and watch the sun rise if your cursed life sucks so bad).
I know... I probably dont grasp all the subtle nuances of the genre, but I always get annoyed that there are so man Vampfic books and shows about Vampires out there. I will say, as long as Kate B squeezes into that black outfit though.... I won’t say its entirely without its merits.
