Saturday, November 12, 2011

Notes on A New Hope....

I decided to jot down some notes while watching the movie.... they are in chronological order and would make sense if you were watching it....but here they are for posterity.

Really? are there that many stray droids roaming the desert to not alone warrant a nightly Jawa droid ambush but also to support a entire thriving industry?? were each of the droids they line up at the Lar’s farmstead found roaming the desert? When will the droids get the vote?

The red one ?.... you choose the red one and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

You can “wake up” a droid by hitting it??

“ I wonder if he means ol Ben Kenobi”...How many Kenobi’s live on Tatoine anyway?

Apparently R2’s hologram is as close to porn that Luke can get....and by his reaction when it cuts off, Luke needs his holograms.

Eating Dinner...Bright Daylight... Gets out side, Twin Sunset.... gets to garage, Night time... I think look might have stopped to view a hologram or two.

How far could R2 have gotten.... he really never struck me as having Nascar like speed.

Dude...seriously.... where the hell did that Sand raider come from?.... it was like luke was near a spawn point.

Are those ancient cave drawings behind luke’s speeder?

“Such devotion in a Droid” whats that supposed to mean you racist bastard.

“You go on Master luke” Oh god please...please leave him.

Ben says “ he was the best star pilot in the galaxy” and all I can think is “Yipeee!” thanks Lucas

full disclosure...I would have giggled like a girl and swung that light saber for hours.

“How did my father die?” Ben “Gulp”

wait...someone tells you he wants to train you to become a super kick ass warrior and you say you have to go home and do your chores?

Death Star Meetings are a “Start on Time, End on time” Affair, they even started without Vader and Tarkin.

Coffee mugs on the table...wonder who does their catering.

Meeting Minutes : Vader responds by choking

“Seriously Sir... you want us to burn down a hole in the ground?”

Vader really needs two guars with him to interrogate Princess Leah?

Jawas are apparently really light.

ok... the Short guy in the background when they pull up to the cantina....WTF?

“we dont serve their kind”....racist bastard

trying to figure out what all the pipes are around the bar

brought blasters to a light saber fight....epic fail

always imagines the guy that goes out to tell the stormtroopers has a very thick Minnesota accent “Oh Yah, dat der fella done cut dem down”

Han solo..... Thats all I got to say about that.

“You bet I could!!”... and all I hear is “Yipeeee”...Thanks Lucas.

Greedo/ Han scene....excuse me I have to close my eyes and pretend Lucas hasnt coated it with liquid suck.

“perhaps she will respond to a alternative form of persuasion” thinks somebody just got back from a training class.

“Set course for Alderan”.....”This thing flys to??....Sweeeeet”

Why exactly is the fact that the door is locked a sign that the droids that they are desperately seeking are not there?

Of course hes a spy....he has a big nose.

funny isnt it....the suckiest things about the Jabba scene are the things they added. Sadly I include fett in that. BTW...just notes there are like 4 other Rhodians with him.

BTW: the Falcon....giggle

“Which way?” Um how about the door way with the huge 94 next to it.

Love the Docking bay 94 scene

I love every inch of the Falcon

Three Cruisers in orbit around Tatoine?

You put him in his place Han.....”Boy!”

you dont know how hard I found it signing the execution order” on account that there are no pens or such.

I wonder if they painted a planet on the side of the deathstar after they blew up Alderan.

During the Light Saber Training scene...look behind look, are those like Giant bags of Generic brand Wookie chow on the shelf?

“You dont believe in the force do you”...”Hells to the no”

“Looks like we are coming up on Alderan” or a British police car

“She Lied” Is Tarkin going to have to Slap a Bitch?

“Terminator her... Immediately” you know ... that never goes as fast as you think, they have to send security to watch her as she cleans out her desk.... then there is the Exit interview....

The Deathstar must need the fighter screen because the sensor station is in the Southern Hemisphere and has different communications could take hours for a report to get to the right people.

Bay clear.

love the three guys that run a cross the hanger bay....must be late from break. not at his post.

bam....1 down 27,987 to go

“I want to go with you”

“scheduled to be terminated”? well lord vader....if i move some things around maybe i can fit her in next wednesday.

sure....just leave the unarmed droids to fend for themselves.... racist bastards

obi wan shinobi....all sneaky and stuff

“where are you taking this ...thing”....racist bastard

Dention block shoot out....giggle!

for not being able to see a thing in those helmets....they sure are some camera hitting SOBs.

“Arent you a little short for a stormtrooper?” “Arent you a little ugly for a princess”

The Deathstar has like 1 meeting room..... but nobody knows where it is so thats why Tarkin can always book it.

“looks like you manage to cut off are only escape route” “maybe you’d like to grease up and squeeze back into your cell”

oh they need the droids

“its not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us” Yeah, but its going to take them forever to find a cab to get down there.

Trash compactor was never my favorite scene.

Deathstar tosses out allot of gray styrofoam

Han can’t bluff worth Shiz...but 3PO has them eating out of his golden hand.

“We’re all going to be allot thinner” obviously aimed at Leah.

3263827....thats the pressure hatch number.

Obi Wan Shinobi....Jedi Ninja

Were they really wearing their clothes under the armor...including Hans boots?...and a Vest? Do you really wear a vest under armor....ever?

Do you think Stormtroopers have to do Electronic time keeping?

I hate the added SPFX in the Han chasing the Stormtrooper scene... Why Exactly is there a huge room full of Stormtroopers just standing around?

“There coming through” God the whining!! they are brother and sister.

BTW, one of the stormtroopers that they kill and steal their armor Does have a grappling hook on his belt....continuity!!

That a blast door

Vader vs Ben.....BEGIN!!!

Well....they are allot older

“Your powers are weak old man” “Yes, my lungs must be tired, what with all the air I can breath without the aide of a respirator”

NOOOooooo.....I believe that is now the Skywalker battlecry

the Falcon...teeeeheeee

mopey Luke....a good old fashion Killing will bring him out of it.

Atari 1200 on line

luke killed two people....all happy now

“you sure the homing beacon is safely on board?” Vader thinks “a....homing beacon?”

Movie looks great in HD

4th Moon of Yavin....55MPH please


wow.....these are the plans?? they built the deathstar....according to these plans??

Snub Fighter?? you mean the Incom T65 Xwing? the super awesomist star fighter ever?

Bullseye womp rats?? did the womprats have the fire power of half the imperial fleet? No? then shut up!

ewwwwwww kiss number 2

Biggs!!! liked the cut scene at tosche station btw

why does a guy in a basket have a spear?

the sound of sfoils being locked is also the sound of a galactic can of woop ass being opened.

they had to grease porkins to get him in the fighter.

scanners in this universe suck!

ever notice that the guy that is all calm is not gold leader...he’s gold 5

you go red leader

the lag made red leader miss

god this movie rox

Yeah worry about those fighters and let mister womp rats worry about the exhaust port. R2 is your bestest friend in the whole world

Biggs is off the lifeday card list.

Do what he what he say

Han AND the Falcon....Achievement unlock!!


I wonder who was flying the surviving Ywing?

Dont act like you care now luke...go back to laughing and joking around while 3po cries streams of oil.

I was wondered if someone watching this ceremony is thinking “gee Ive been in the rebellion 10 year, these guys 6 hours....and I aint ever gotten the big medal”


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, I absolutely love this post.

“Yes, my lungs must be tired, what with all the air I can breath without the aide of a respirator”

Classic. Absolutely classic.